Thinking and Writing

"Sorry Not Sorry"

Hadley Scholz

       A few months ago while partaking in the daily scrolling of my Facebook news feed, I happened upon this video entitled "Sorry Not Sorry." It was an ad campaign created by the company Pantene and I became obsessed. I showed this video to all my friends and praised its overall goal of boosting women's self-confidence. Pantene has created a handful of other videos that share a similar theme of aiding the feeling of being a "lesser" gender that women deal with. Messages such as this one that point out and pose solutions to the weaknesses found in minority groups are beneficial to our society. 

       It was almost revelation worthy for me to happen upon this video. I could personally relate to the habit of apologizing every time I encountered another individual. When I was growing up it was such a habit for me that my dad made a point of telling me not to say sorry "all the time." It would frustrate my father that I would begin every statement with that word and as I think back I cannot pinpoint the reason I had started doing that. I must conclude that it was my surroundings that influenced me to act in such a way: possibly my mother might have apologized frequently or I saw the way women acted and were treated on TV or in movies I watched. Anyhow it was something I desperately wanted to change if not only to stop hearing my dad sound so annoyed with me. As I grew older and recognized the issues and trends of the world around me and why they came to be, I have a developed a great desire to alter my image of myself and become a more confident individual.

       I believe that in general the individual that has the most say in our world is a wealthy, white, male. While attending a University for the last year I have discovered that this assumption is backed by evidence millenniums old. Men have always had more control than women, and because of that trend have always been placed as leaders over their counterparts. This allows women to hold the title of being a "minority" group.  I do not believe it was ever an intentional goal to put women down or to have such an everlasting effect on the image of women. Men need women and women need men. I do believe in the separation of roles that men and women serve, but I also recognize that throughout history women have been subject to men's decisions. Only within the last century have women been given the opportunity to have a public influence on the world around them. However, it is an ongoing process, and not everything was resolved by allowing women the opportunity to vote. A culture as old as human kind itself is going to take a long time to alter, and I am not suggesting we alter it entirely. I do support efforts such as this post from Pantene, which encourages women to stand up for themselves and go against trends that otherwise would have women believe they must apologize for not being a man. 

       My interest and excitement in this cause that Pantene has taken a part in was frustrated by the amount of negative feedback I read from the general public. Many people posted angry comments stating that the video was rude and ineffective. Some of the reasons these people had for their opinions were that the video created a weak image for women, in todays world men apologize as well, and it seemed that Pantene's solution was to push women to be rude to those they come in contact with. I believe that Pantene was pointing out an image that had been established for women a very long time ago and was only trying to suggest a solution for how degrading it is to women of all ethnicities. Men do apologize and that is a polite thing to do. However, for a large industry to utilize their campaigning strategies towards pointing out this trend among women, and for so many individual women that I know to relate to this feeling the need to always apologize it is evident that the habit of saying sorry has developed as a defensive mechanism for females everywhere. Finally, that these people view the women who do not apologize, but instead are taking a stand for themselves, as rude, is the root of the problem. It is not "rude" and uncalled for when a women does not apologize and instead is confident in what she is saying. That is only what societal patterns have shaped the minds of its members to believe. 

      I appreciate this statement made by Pantene as I myself am a part of the women minority and have the desire to change the way I treat others so to have a more positive and confident lifestyle.